Resolve: It Ends Before It Begins

We are 3 days into the new year.

Are you still jazzed about your resolution?
Have you hit a bump?
Have you cheated or slipped?
Have you experienced at setback?
Has it been difficult?
Are you still determined?
Are you excited?

It’s all inspirational on New Year’s eve at 11:58 pm with a glass of champagne in your hand and all is right with the world, but quickly, reality sets in and we start to experience trials.

Is it going to be easy? Nope! So is it over? Or does the real challenge begin?

How are you overcoming challenges? I’d love to hear.

Push Through The Umph

I’m a sports fan.  Have been since I was 7 years old an NFL girl (GO DOLPHINS!) And while I pledged my heart, eternal love & devotion  to the Mi Ami Dolphins all those years ago, I am truly a sports fan in many areas. Seriously think I am going to learn a little about hockey this year….but I digress….

 Let’s talk Olympics.  I love the inspirational effect of the Olympics.  The opening ceremonies and the lyrics of the songs the create for that event.  The compelling human interest stories that come with every athlete.  The moment of glory.  The crowing of a champion.  It is compelling to watch, to celebrate with them.  But so often, as I get caught up in a particular story or moment of excellence, I find myself wondering about the behind the scenes part.  The part we don’t get to see in an athlete’s journey. 

Most people only see or experience the end of someone else’s journey or victory.  But is that where a champion is made? On the highest podium, bending to be adorned with gold at the MOMENT of victory?  Uh, not even close.  The champion is made in all the moments we don’t see.  Ever think about that?  Ever think about what happens the four years in between the Olympics?   I call it, the “umph” years.

It’s been said that “The difference between try and triumph is a little extra umph”. The longest part of any journey is the time spent between the decision to TRY and the actual TRIUMPH.  It’s this UMPH section I am referring to. 

What happens in the “umph” section?  TRIALS & TRIBULATIONS.  Adversity happens. And here is the big news.  The reason it happens is to reveal to you what your true values are.  You think those athletes had it easy getting to where they are at the moment of glory?  NO WAY!  They have had to persevere in the “umph” section.  Dig deep.  Find purpose.  Believe without evidence.  They had to BECOME a champion.

Trials & tribulations hold you hostage and it demands your faith, your health, your determination, your belief in yourself or even your life to overcome them. Your reaction to trials & tribulations illuminates your true values and adversity in the “umph” section should never betray what your true values are.  Adversity strips away the pretense and self-delusion and shows you what you treasure the most and where your heart truly is.  Whatever you are not willing to sacrifice is your greatest treasure, and wherever your treasure is, there your heart will be also.

So give thanks for adversity.  It gives you a chance to see yourself as you really are and to make corrections before it is too late.  Do not grow weary for you will win if you don’t lose heart – and that makes the journey through trials & tribulation the ultimate TRIUMPH!

Whatever It Is You Do…Give It All You Got!

I am pretty sure there are some things in life I don’t have to experience to know that I would not enjoy them.  In fact, on the top of my list is wearing a costume – of any kind.  Hugely dislike.  Won’t do it. Really, REALLY not something I would enjoy.  So, wearing a costume of a gigantic slice of pepperoni pizza, is most definitely, unequivocally, with out any doubt something that is not going to happen in my world.  Not for any amount of money (ok, I am not being completely truthful there about the money part…but you get my gist.)

Wednesday night I decided – at the last minute – to go listen to a great band playing at The Taste of Peoria.  I was just in the mood for a beautiful evening outdoors while listening to really fun music.  I had no intention of it being anything life altering or even blog inspiring but then, I saw PizzaMan.

PizzaMan (pictured above) was an unexpected, attitude changing event in and of himself.  In fact, so much so that I am not sure I even heard the first set the band played.  I was fixated on the performing giant slice of pie.   

PizzaMan was passion – dressed in pepperoni.  He was enthusiasm – encased in dough.  He was commitment to a purpose – cloaked in mozzarella.  Hundreds of us watching his unending energy laughed.  We poked fun (all in good fun) and the band even mentioned that not even if he caught on fire would his huge energetic attitude be squelched. PizzaMan danced with the crowd, did back flips, smiled incessantly and had an aura about him that could be felt from yards away. He was a scene stealer and a darn good one at that. I am not sure I have ever witnessed a higer level of employee engagement, EVER.

You see, I just said it.  He was hired by an owner of a pizza place to “sell pizza”.  Would you do that?  Would you don a life sized costume of pizza and “sell pizza”?  More than that – would you do it with all the joy you had in you in front of hundreds of people knowing that you were being laughed at & joked about? 

Most of us blessed enough to be employed in these difficult economic times should apologize to our employers for perhaps, our terrible attitudes, the long hours and the constant dumping of more onto our plates.  I don’t know PizzaMan’s situation, but I do know, by his actions and example Wednesday night, he was elated to have the job he had – and I was inspired to be grateful for mine.

One Bad Apple

Donny Osmond knew it!

Everyone has a purpose in your life. 

Some people’s purpose in your life is not necessarily in your best interest.  They are dead weight, providing no value.  Eliminate them.  Harsh?  Perhaps.  But that’s the thing about the truth.  Sometimes harsh, always fair.  Eliminating the toxic people (I call them “blessing blockers”) will open up room for free flowing favor!

Emotionally toxic people can ravage us from the inside out. Yet, what exactly defines a toxic person depends on who you talk to. In my life, I’ve found toxic people are those who:

• take and never give in return
• constantly complain
• gossip
• put others down to make themselves feel better
• make others feel guilty
• can only criticize
• have no joy or laughter

What all toxic people have in common is that they always leave us powerless, vulnerable, and depleted. Feeling this way for long periods of time is devastating to our physical and emotional health. Toxic people don’t help us, they harm us.  So how do you clean up the poison?  Simple.

If You Allow Unhealthy Relationships To Stay in Your Life, You are a Volunteer, NOT a Victim.

STOP THE INSANITY!  (Where is Susan Powter when you need her?) And guess what, only you can CHOOSE to stop it.  On your time, on your terms!  And when you are READY, it won’t be hard.  The quickest way out of victim mode?  RESPONSIBILITY! Accept that you are allowing what you’re allowing.  You’re not forced to have this person/situation in your life.  And until you GET that, you will continue to go on volunteering for the drama, unhealth and misery.

One final thought?  Are you the person some one else needs to remove from their life? Just a little food for thought .  But hopefully of not the bad apple type.

 

 

Sometimes Days Are Just ….

Cue Daniel Powter tune.

Today was just a bad day.  Now hold on,  before you bail on me because you don’t want to get dumped on, I promise to bring it back around and make a positive point.  But the fact of the matter is, today was just a bad, bad day.

Let me see if I can pull a John Grogan. 

Woke up early.  No coffee.  Brushed my teeth. Threw something on. On the road before 7. Got to work. So far so good. Then good stopped.  Ran to Sam’s Club.  Filled the cart.  Checked out.  Debit card wouldn’t work. Frustrated.  Called 800 number.  Nada. Put my stuff on hold.  Called a friend.  Took bank’s side.  Hurt my feelings.  Drove back to office. Called 800 number again.  Card is fine.  Found my pin.  Went back to Sam’s.  Pin wouldn’t work.  Wrote a check. Now running late.  Very late.  Got behind slow driver.  VERY slow driver. Seriously irritated. Stopped for second errand.  Door to place wouldn’t open. Checked hours on the door.  Checked cars in the parking lot.  Checked if people inside.  Tried door again. Nada.  Looked inside again.  People were there.  Waved to them.  They opened the door.  Placed my order.  They were out of what I needed.  Waited for new batch.  Dropped my sunglasses.  All good.  Headed back to office. Took the wrong turn.  Major agitation. Schlepped entire Sams run up four stories. In heels & skirt.  Prepped for guests.  Dropped entire bowl of starburts.  Picked them all up.  In heels & skirt.  Starving.  Ignored it.  Guests arrived.  Guests left.  Had to clean up. Had to write blog.  Need sleep. Wrote blog anyway.  Still want coffee. Nada.

So how am I going to turn this into a positive?  I have no idea.  All I know is that I made it through and seriously, tomorrow, it won’t matter and I’ll be dealing with a whole other set of issues.  Sometimes days are just – days that stink.  But I am pretty sure that I would much rather have a bad day doing what I do than a really good day any where else and that, is the point.

No Stinkin’ Thinkin’ – EVER!

I was dealt some potentially devastating, heartbreaking & crushing news this afternoon and very soon after, I posted this as my status: “I WILL NOT look at the size of my problem, heartbreak or obstacle. I will look at the size of MY GOD!” Immediately I received an inbox message that asked:

“So tell me how I am supposed to stay positive when I feel my prayers are going unanswered! I love reading all your positive quotes and I am trying to be positive but it’s just so hard sometimes. Any advice??”

Here’s the advice I gave:

Some days its just hard! Here is what I do.

1. PRAY HARDER! Just because You can’t hear God doesn’t mean He isn’t working behind the scenes! God is a God of suddenlies. At any minute He can send favor, turn a situation around, create a miracle. You have to stay with an expectant faith. Be a prisoner of hope and God will reward you!!

2. Attitude of Gratitude – You cannot be both angry and grateful at the same time. Start counting the blessings and miracles in your life, start looking for them and you shall find more. What’s there not to be grateful? You are alive and breathing! Realize how lucky you are and all the abundance in your life. It’s everywhere! Look for it!

3. Find the Lesson – There is a lesson to be learned from every situation. No matter how unfortunate the situation may appear, recognize the beautiful lessons waiting to be discovered. Sometimes lessons are expensive, but every problem is a learning opportunity in disguise. You may have made a mistake, but now you can accept it and continue, knowing that you will make a different decision in the future. Understand this and be appreciative for the experience.

Hope this helps!! Praying for you!

If All I Ever Become is an Encourager

This year has been a year of pushing my limits. I mean REALLY pushing them!  I set out to do things I have always been telling myself I couldn’t do because I wasn’t in shape enough, rich enough, experienced enough, successful enough …need I go on? So I set a couple goals to prove myself WRONG!! One goal I set is to run a half marathon this year.

 

I have never been a “runner”.  I was a sprinter in high school, I had a speedy quick 200, but never, would I ever, consider myself to be a runner. But this past Saturday, after some training, I ran my first LONG DISTANCE race.  Well, that was officially timed with the little disc on my shoe and a number on my shirt, the crowd gathered and the whole nine yards…or 4 miles in this case.

I almost missed the race, because, if you must know, I am really afraid to do things for the first time. So, having been my first official race, I almost backed out because of fear. I was completely negatively self-absorbed in how I truly didn’t prepare well enough, how I didn’t know what I was doing, how I really dislike running anyway, how I should have never signed up for this, how I didn’t like the yellow running shirt and black running pants I chose to wear (give me a break, I’m a girl!), how I had a million other things I could have been doing, how I really should have lost 10 pounds before doing my first race…you know the routine.

As I literally forced myself to get in the starting pen, I began to relax and get my attitude straightened out. I was going to be fine. I didn’t sign up to win a medal, to place, to beat
the world record, to prove anything other than that I was wrong: Yes, I could finish a longer distance than I had ever run before, in under 50 minutes!  I just needed to relax and go with it.

Mile 1 was everything I expected.  The streets were lined with fans and groups cheering for loved ones, members of their congregations, co-workers.  They held signs, had matching t-shirts, organized a little rally all for someone they were there to support.  I was unmoved.  Completely what I expected and really, at that point, I was just glad not a single person in the crowd knew me.  Being incognito was just fine for me.

Mile 2 I realized that I was hitting my stride and that a woman just ahead of me also wearing yellow shirt & black bottoms – (ok, so I must not have looked so ridiculous afterall) was running about the same pace as me. Sweet!  I could pace myself with her.  The crowd at this point had dwindled and a few volunteers were dotting the course.  They clapped and cheered and encouraged, but yet, I was still glad I was unrecognizable. However, I appreciated their smiles and found myself giving a slight smile back.

Mile 3 I had to admit I was getting pretty darn proud of myself.  Of course, there was no turning back and with half the race finished, I could see the light at the end of the proverbial tunnel.  My attitude had shifted from “Thank God nobody here knows me” to “Wow, I really wish my three daughters could see me now!” All of a sudden I was craving ONE person, in the crowd, that yelled my name and encouraged me to keep going, to scream “Good Job Ami” and then it hit me.  All those volunteers, those strangers, those men & women whom I had never laid eyes on before, were cheering for me.  They were smiling, encouraging me and believing I could finish.  And like the Grinch, my heart grew a size bigger

Mile 4 I was absolutely in a state of euphoria.  There was motivational music, bands, the streets were getting more heavily lined again and the cheering and praise were becoming defeaning.  I noticed the 15K runners were now starting pass me. I didn’t care.  They were not someone to be embarrassed by, they appeared as a sign of inspiration to finish.  At one point, two 15K runners were passing and the second place runner was yelling to the third place runner behind him; “Keep going, don’t you stop, don’t you slow down, you catch up to me, you keep going”  I couldn’t believe what I was witnessing, it was as if he WANTED him to beat him.  It was the most inspirational moment I have ever witnessed.  I had tears in my eyes as I rounded the corner to the finish line, I could hardly see.  I had finished, I could see the little blue mat that would record my time and then as I became cognizant of what I had just about accomplished, I heard it over the loudspeaker:  “Ami Dean from Oglesby IL, great job and thanks for coming down today for the Steamboat Classic!” What?  God? Who is that? 

You see the reason for the number on your shirt – the announcer at the finish line can look who’s coming down the lane, look it up in the computer and blow incognito completely out of the water.  And I beamed!

Who’s Your Starfish?

Below, is one of my favorite stories.  I am not sure if it is a true story.  Doesn’t matter.  It’s still how I try to live my life, lead my family, build my organization.

One day a man was walking along the beach when he noticed a boy picking something up and gently throwing it into the ocean.  Approaching the boy, he asked, “What are you doing?”  The youth replied, “Throwing starfish back into the ocean. The surf is up and the tide is going out. If I don’t throw them back, they’ll die.”

“Son,” the man said, “don’t you realize there are miles and miles of beach and hundreds of starfish? You can’t make a difference!”

After listening politely, the boy bent down, picked up another starfish, and threw it back into the surf. Then, smiling at the man, he said, “I bet I made a difference for that one”.

Who is telling you you can’t possibly make a difference?

They are wrong!  I am pretty sure it’s not reasonable to believe we can touch all the people in the world.  But we can touch ONE, or two.  Maybe even a hundred, maybe even more than that.  But it starts with ONE. 

Who’s your starfish?

I have been blessed to have been taught by, mentored from, be friends with some amazing people throughout my life.  I don’t think they really thought of me as a starfish they had to rescue (there are some that should have because they did) but I can tell you, their lesson, legacy, advice, guidance and counsel has made a huge difference in my life.

So who can you save? 

Who can you toss into the ocean and give another chance to?  You never know when that kind word, smile, hug, time spent, advice given, heartbreak listened to, judgement not passed or word of encouragement might just be the ONE  little thing to someONE, to make that ONE difference they have been praying for.  And notice the little boy doesn’t get attached to the starfish, have to have a lifelong bond or keep in touch with the starfish.  He simply does what he can do and moves on to the next, and the next and the next… I am sure, with the hope that his action is what they needed at the moment.

Start tossing!

 

 

 

Burn Your Boats

Are you interested or committed in your life pursuits? Are you burning your boats?

The ancient Greek warriors were both feared and respected by their enemies. In battle, the Greeks established a well-deserved reputation for their unsurpassed bravery and unshakable commitment to victory. The key to their overwhelming success on the battlefield had far more to do with how the Greek commanders motivated the warriors than it did with issues of tactics or training. The Greeks were master motivators who understood how to use a “dramatic demonstration” to infuse a spirit of commitment into the heart of every warrior.

Once the warriors had been offloaded from their boats onto their enemy’s shore, the Greek commanders would shout out their first order, “burn the boats!” The sight of burning boats removed any notion of retreat from their hearts and any thoughts of surrender from their heads. Imagine the tremendous psychological impact on the soldiers as they watched their boats being set to the torch. As the boats turned to ash and slipped quietly out of sight into the water, each man understood there was no turning back and the only way home was through victory.

So I’ll ask again, are you interested or committed to your goals & dreams? Are you burning your boats?

Here’s the difference between interest and committed: When you are interested in something, you will make excuses, you are not willing to be inconvenienced to achieve and so-so results are tolerable. When you are committed, you expect excellence, accept only favorable results and you are willing to be inconvenienced.

Often times, we set out on an endeavor only to find that it gets difficult, sometimes unbearable. But if we did like the Greek warrior commanders did, and rid ourselves of any way of turning back, would some things in your life be different right now? Would your marriage be better, your career be more rewarding, your dream realized? Perhaps some tough stuff to look at, maybe some regrets to face, but worthy of thinking about.

So what “dramatic demonstration” have you had in your life? What wake up call did you not pay attention to? What fear held you back? What decision did you decide NOT to make? And is it too late? The answer is no, because if you are ever going to put any of the regret to rest, you have to face the giants, feel the fear and do it anyway and finally know, the only way home is through victory…and That’s the Point….

Where Are You?

I live in a pretty rural community.  Population: 20,000 (give or take a few folks)  To be able to get to a larger city, we have to travel through a lot of farmland.  Inevitably, on any given journey, one of my children will ask “Where are we?”  and the standard answer is, (usually in unison) “We’re out in the middle of nowhere”.   If you’ve driven through the Midwest, you can probably relate. 

Perhaps right now, in life, you feel like you are “out in the middle of nowhere”.  Mapless, goal-less, clueless, could care less.  Being nowhere is impossible. Think about it: No matter where you are, you’re somewhere.  It may not be where you want to be.  You may not be happy about it.  It may just be temporary. It may be on your way to somewhere else. But, you are somewhere.

It’s been said that most people put more planning and preparation into going on vacation than they do their personal lives.  I’ve always been a planner and color coded calendar freak so I don’t get the no planning thing, but I do know people who the saying holds true for.  Here are three things I think you need to go from “out in the middle of nowhere” to “I’ve arrived!”

 1.  GPS:   Not that kind of GPS, but kinda.  My GPS stands for Great Planning System.  It’s great when we get in our cars and plug in our final destination into the navigation system, push a button and presto!  Our answer on how to get where we’re going is given to us.  But navigating life isn’t quite so easy. And I suggest, we wouldn’t want it to be.  You see, our GPS might give us the answer, but it doesn’t give us many alternate routes, or CHOICES!!  A Great Planning System will allow you to see big picture and then CHOOSE which direction to take. Sure you may come across some roadblocks, detours and red lights along the way, but those obstacles can also be overcome by good planning.

2.  Co-Pilot.  God is mine.  I also have many friends that truly “know the back roads” out in the country, and in life.  Great advisors can truly help you get to where you’re going much quicker and make the trip less bumpy and help you navigate the inevitable detours. 

3.  Conviction – No matter the road blocks and obstacles we encounter, nothing will get you through the congestion like a deep belief in yourself and your goal.  You know the difference between interest & commitment?  When you are interested in something, you allow excuses and you won’t be inconvenienced to achieve it.  But when you’re committed – you make no excuses, accept only results and you are willing to be inconvenienced in hitting the outcome.  Conviction, leads to commitment.

So where are you?  Now you know, the answer is not “Out in the middle of nowhere”.  You are somewhere so to get where you’re going, pinpoint your location, plan your course & choose your path and I will meet you at the intersection of “I’ve Arrived” and “Glad I Made The Trip”.